Crystal Gems in Disguise

(Author’s Note: This blog has been in the works for at least 6 months. In tribute to the late David Bowie, I decided to finally post for public consumption.)

May contain mild spoilers for those not caught up to Season 2 of Steven Universe

Fans of the show know that I’m a bit obsessed with the show Steven Universe. In the off-season I find myself coming up with strange headcanon to make my world view more interesting.

In addition to Garnet’s voice, lent by the talented singer-songwriter Estelle,  the show occasionally features other celebrity voice cameos.

What if these singers are Gems from the Homeworld, in disguise? And if that’s the case, wouldn’t there potentially be many more? If these Gems weren’t part of the rebellion with Rose Quartz & company, they would be natural entertainers — the weirdest and most flamboyant the world has ever known.

Here are descriptions of a few of my choices. Listen along with the playlist below!

David Bowie & Freddie Mercury

What a no-brainer. These two are so perfectly OBVIOUS that they inspired this entire concept.

	Bowie’s gem: Citrine. The color of starlight, gold and lightning.
	Mercury’s gem: Star Sapphire. Sapphires are known to be rare aristocratic gems; has anyone ever doubted that Mercury is an aristocrat?
	Their fusion: Diamond, of course. Light from the two colored gems combines to pure white. Diamonds are formed… under pressure. (Don’t act like you’re not impressed.)

Nicki Minaj, Aimee Mann, Estelle

These require little explanation as they are actually part of the show, right? I couldn’t really find a song on Spotify by Alexia Khadime (Sardonyx) nor Rita Rani Ahuja (Alexandrite), but AJ Michalka, voice of Stevonnie, appears later with her band 78violet.

Prince

I know, I’ve already tried to convince you that he’s a Time Lord. But, I didn’t really feel like this list was complete without him. He could be both Time Lord and Crystal Gem, right? In some facet of the multiverse, Gems can be Time Lords/Ladies and vice versa.

Purple Tourmaline

Jay Kay (of Jamiroquai)

Bismuth. This mineral can form naturally in the earth, but tends to look like lumps of grey-black coal. When synthesized in a lab, Bismuth takes the shape of neatly organized, rainbow-tinted crystal formations like the one shown here. He’s a Kindergartner.

St. Vincent & David Byrne

	St. Vincent’s gem: Lavender Jade Most people think of jadeite as the commonly found green, but it can form in many different colors including this beautiful shade of light purple.
	David Byrne’s gem: Red Jasper
	Their fusion: Bloodstone.

Siouxsie Sioux

Pyrope

Bjork

No one has ever accused her of being normal.

Snowflake Obsidian.

Parliament

 At this time, I can’t speak for all of the P-funk crew, but Bootsy Collins for sure is a Gem.

Star Ruby.

La Roux

Sunstone. Actually, she may just be the Pearl we all know and love.

Annie Lennox

Rubellite.

I didn’t include everyone on the list; some just eluded me. Got any suggestions or additions? Drop a comment below!